Tag: Marriage advice

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Christian Marriage Renewal: Overcoming Negativity

Hateful comments amid speech bubbles, challenging Christian marriage transformation efforts online

Have you noticed how strangers on the internet often express hatred and say degrading things to people they’ve never met? At Turnaround Marriage, we’ve encountered all sorts of comments – from accusations that “Christianity is spousal abuse” to claims that “Marriage is the problem” and even personal attacks calling us “intellectually stunted.”

Years ago, these comments used to discourage and even derail us. But now they fuel our mission for Christian marriage renewal!

The Truth Behind the Negativity

The TRUTH is that so many people are hurting. And hurt people, hurt people. Certainly, many do hate God and His ways. Anger and hate fill many hearts. Many suffer in their marriages and have begun to believe nothing could ever change – that a painful, disconnected marriage is their destiny.

Often, it is NOT THEIR FAULT.

They have been trying to do marriage in their own way: the only way they knew how. Or in the way they were taught. Or in the way the culture has shown them. Only to learn over time that it was simply not working.

The Journey to Christian Marriage Transformation

That’s why people come to us. They have been working harder and harder doing what does not work. Maybe they have even “tried marriage help,” but their marriage did not change much.

Then, they come to us realizing that things need to truly change, that they need a better way of doing family, marriage…and even life.

And when they begin to do the necessary work…and learning how to align with God’s design for their lives and marriages – hope begins to flood in. Then, hope gives way to excitement. Then joy and fun!

Real Stories of Transformation

As one client just told us, “If you would have told me that things could change so quickly, I would not have believed you!”

We’ve worked with business owners, lawyers, truck drivers, teachers, doctors, executives, business professionals, construction workers, nurses, engineers, therapists, stay at home moms, and more. And they are usually amazed at how much they can heal, change, and grow in a short season.

God’s Role in Marriage Transformation

We are massively confident in our approach. Not just because we believe Turnaround Marriage is the best way to heal a marriage – but because we know the One who DOES the healing.

God has in His heart so much healing for His people! He is able to heal – but so often people choose the dysfunction instead of His plan (without seeing it). They believe that which is not true (Satan’s lies). And until someone helps to point those things out and shift their perspective, not much will change.

Our Unique Approach to Christian Marriage Transformation

Our strategy to help heal and strengthen the individual at the same time as the marriage is the best strategy out there, because if you are one flesh, you MUST work on both simultaneously.

It is amazing…and we have come to expect the miraculous. Because miracles are the norm!

Your Path to Marriage Transformation

So what about you!? Maybe things have been bad for a long time. Maybe you think you are just destined to be stuck. Maybe it feels like God won’t even answer your prayers.

We want to encourage you to begin the path of the impossible today:

  1. Check out our free masterclass, “The 5 Simple Shifts Christians Make to Turn their Marriage Around Quickly” at www.turnaroundmarriage.live
  2. Book a breakthrough call with us at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

After you have seen the masterclass and it resonates with you, let’s hop on a call and have a powerful conversation about where you have been stuck. Let’s talk about what’s been so hard. But then we want to talk about the path of healing with you and the strategy and support you will need to get there.

Be prepared to take action on that call – be prepared to take the initiative to move forward starting that plan right away.

These steps could change your life like it has for hundreds of Christians.

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The Biblical Secret to Rekindle Marital Intimacy

the biblical secret to rekindle marital intimacy

Are you searching for the biblical secret to rekindle marital intimacy? Many Christian couples find themselves drifting apart, wondering what happened to the soulmate they once adored. If you’re feeling emotionally distant or struggling to connect physically and spiritually, you’re not alone. The good news is that there’s a proven, biblical approach to restoring intimacy in your marriage.

Uncovering the Biblical Secret to Marital Intimacy

The real issue many couples face isn’t just disconnection – it’s the lack of a proven, biblical system for restoring intimacy. Our Turnaround Marriage Program has helped hundreds of Christian couples transform their relationships using a four-step framework rooted in biblical principles.

The 4-Step Biblical Approach to Rekindling Intimacy

1. Healing Past Hurts

The first step involves using forgiveness and exercises to let go of bitterness and resentment. This process allows couples to move beyond past wounds and create a fresh foundation for their relationship.

2. Rebuilding Trust

Next, we focus on rebuilding trust through effective communication exercises. These exercises come from a place of appreciation and understanding your differences as husband and wife. By learning to communicate effectively, couples can bridge the gaps that have formed in their relationship.

3. Resolving Conflicts

We then apply conflict resolution principles that really work. These techniques ensure that both partners can finally feel heard and understood without things escalating and without one or both shutting down. This step is crucial in creating a safe space for open and honest communication.

4. Meeting Emotional Needs

Finally, we guide couples in meeting each other’s core emotional needs consistently. This step also involves reconnecting deeply with God to step into your identity in Christ. By aligning your marriage with God’s design, you can experience a level of intimacy and connection you may have thought was lost forever.

Applying the Biblical Secret in Your Marriage

This biblical framework for rekindling marital intimacy has worked for countless couples, taking them from frustrated and fighting to close and connected in a matter of weeks. Let’s explore how you can apply this biblical secret to your own marriage.

We’ve seen remarkable transformations in couples like John and Janice, Roberto and Judith, Bert and Miriam, and Jeremy and Tracie, to name just a few in the last few weeks. These couples have experienced the joy of a rekindled, passionate, God-centered marriage.

Your Path to Marital Renewal

Isn’t it time you experienced the joyful, passionate, God-centered marriage you’ve been praying for? We offer a free breakthrough call where we can uncover the roots of what’s not working in your marriage and show you how to apply these strategies starting today.

Don’t delay – we have very few slots remaining this week. This could be the turning point your marriage needs.
Book your free breakthrough call now: Schedule Your Breakthrough Session

Remember, the proof is in the pudding. This approach has worked for countless couples, and it can work for you too. Take the first step towards rekindling your marital intimacy today.

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Biblical Guidance for Marriage Struggles: A Path to Healing

In the realm of marriage counseling, not all advice is created equal. As a marriage coach, I’ve encountered numerous couples who have received questionable guidance that often exacerbates their marital issues. Today, let’s explore why biblical guidance is crucial when navigating marriage struggles and how to find genuine Christian help.

seeking biblical guidance for marriage struggles

The Perils of Misguided Marriage Advice

Recently, I spoke with a struggling couple who shared a startling piece of advice they’d received from a professional: “Write down everything you don’t like about your spouse. That’s your homework.” This approach, far from fostering healing, can deepen resentment and widen the gap between partners.

Common Pitfalls in Seeking Marriage Help

It never ceases to amaze me how horrific most of the “marriage helps” are. But over and over, the story is the same: a Christian struggling in their marriage. And what does everyone do? Go get counseling. But the thing they do not often think about is: what if this person gives unbiblical/unwise advice that makes things worse? What if they say they are a “Christian Counselor” but maybe are not going to point them to the Lord’s design for marriage?

Real-Life Examples of Harmful Counseling

In the last week alone, I have encountered three different situations where Christians were struggling and went to the “Free counseling” provided by their insurance only to find it actually made things worse. In one case, they kicked the man out of the couples counseling to continue to help the woman “find what she wanted.”

Caveat: of course, there are times when an unrepentant spouse is damaging the relationship beyond repair and there needs to be boundaries that may seem harsh put into place for healing. But we are talking about poor advice and unbiblical counsel being dished out to Christians under the guise of Christian help that does more harm than good.

I could go on for days ranting. But the bottom line is this: be very careful where you get your help.

Choosing the Right Help for Your Marriage

When seeking guidance for your marriage struggles, consider these crucial factors:

Make sure they will unashamedly point you to the Truth and to God’s design for help. Make sure you get testimonials from other Christians too. Make sure they truly understand your problem before they offer a solution. Make sure they equip you with the mindset and the tools for a healthy marriage relationship. Make sure there is a plan with an end game of healing and restoration in your marriage – not just someone who will keep you locked into years of “help” that keeps you stuck. Ultimately, make sure they will point you to the Lord Jesus and His heart and plan for your marriage. For THAT is what you need most of all.

Taking the Next Step Towards Healing

Perhaps you are like a lot of people. You never dreamed you would be here. Maybe you’re even scared. You don’t know what to do. You talked to your pastor. You asked friends for prayer. You’ve tried many things and don’t know what to do.

So, in a world of all kinds of “helps” but most pointing away from the “Truth” what should you do?

If you are struggling in your marriage, let’s hop on a complimentary call and bring clarity to the heart of the issues in your marriage. Let us help you craft a vision for what you hope things can be. Let us point you in the direction of a solution with lasting healing. If we are certain we can help you, we will show you what that would look like. If you’re better served elsewhere, we will still lovingly point you to other Godly help. On this 45-minute call, you will know that you are in good hands. And then you can take that decisive action toward healing once and for all.

You can book that call by going to www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/r marriage? Book your complimentary call today at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

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Navigating Conflict in Marriage: A Coach’s Personal Journey

Navigating conflict in marriage: Marriage coach's journey through challenges, Turnaround Marriage logo

As a marriage coach, I have a confession: I sometimes experience conflict in my own marriage. Shocking, I know. Dealing with conflict in marriage is a universal challenge, even for those who guide others through it. Recently, my husband Scott and I found ourselves in a disagreement, ironically just before our weekly training session with clients. This experience reminded me of the importance of addressing marital conflict effectively.

I honestly can’t remember the specifics of that argument, and it really doesn’t matter. The more I tried to “get my point across,” the more Scott seemed to misunderstand me. Before we knew it, we were in the middle of an argument. He felt I had chosen the worst possible time to address the issue, while I believed we needed to handle it before the call to get on the same page.

Neither of us was right or wrong.

The Pressure of Timing

As the clock ticked closer to 9 PM, when our training was set to start, our stress levels rose. We knew we needed to present ourselves as a strong team for our clients. Years ago, a disagreement like this would have spiraled into a full-blown fight, with Scott retreating and me chasing him around the house, frustrated and desperate to resolve things.

This is one of the old vicious cycles we had adopted, and we had gotten really good at it.

Thankfully, we have developed the skillset, mindset, and heart set to be able to recalibrate rather quickly, stay calm and not let anger, frustration, misunderstanding, or hurt feelings, and get back on the same team quickly, even if we disagree.

Understanding Conflict in Marriage

For every married couple, conflict is a part of living in a fallen world, where sin and selfishness, and corruption have marred our hearts and minds. But whether the conflict is the mainstay of your marriage or an occasional challenge to overcome, it is in direct proportion to your ability to communicate well with your spouse, regulate your own emotional state, and apply the gospel in practical ways to your situation.

The Dread of Marital Conflict

It comes down to how we think about conflict. For most folks, the thought of conflict brings a feeling of dread, a pit in the stomach that makes you sick.

For many, conflict is something to avoid because it’s just so uncomfortable.

But sweeping things under the rug to “avoid conflict” (as “Christian” as that sounds) is NEVER a good idea, in any relationship, but especially the marriage relationship. Those are the marriages that we see every day that seem fine for years, and one thing happens in the relationship that blows up, and what seems to be instantly the relationship is in crisis.

It’s like ignoring the pain in your side for years, pretending it’s not there until you find that you have cancer that not only has grown in your abdomen but has spread to other parts of your body, and you have only months to live. If only you had someone look under the hood to help you figure out what’s causing that pain EARLY ON and deal with it before it’s too late.

Breaking the Cycle of Conflict in Marriage

There’s this niggling belief that sometimes creeps into our marriage that because we sometimes have conflict in our marriage, we are frauds, we are imposters, and we are not really living our dream marriage.

Funny how these types of thoughts are just the ones that will send us down a tailspin of getting our eyes off of the prize of serving more couples out of marriages wrought with disconnection and conflict and focused on licking our own wounds in our marriage.

And funny how these are just the types of thoughts that keep so many couples stuck, not knowing how to handle the conflict that is inevitable, feeling like failures because there is conflict, or avoiding certain topics because you don’t want to hurt your spouse.

The Enemy is really tricky like that.

He’s a liar and a deceiver. He wants you to feel like a failure if you have conflict. He whispers his lies to you, that you shouldn’t disagree, that if your spouse really cared, they wouldn’t argue with you, that you should always get along great with amazing communication.

But the amazing thing is that we have learned to spot those lies NOW and get out of the funk before our own conflict escalates and we get off point of our God-given mission.

Finding Solutions for Marital Conflict

How about you? Are you sick and tired of living every day or week with massive conflict in your marriage, and you just wish you could learn the skill set to handle it?

Or have you and your spouse been sweeping things under the rug for so long, both of you honorable people not wanting to hurt the other person, but not knowing how to bring up difficult topics? If so, I’m sure you’re feeling disconnected from each other because although there may be a lack of conflict, there’s also no true intimacy or connection because you cannot be honest with each other.

If you’re sick and tired of having conflict in your marriage where things never feel resolved, and often the conflict escalates, we have something for you.

Or, if you’re sick and tired of sweeping things under the rug and having many topics which are taboo, which leaves you feeling lonely, isolated, and lacking true intimacy in your marriage, we have something for you as well.

Overcoming conflict in marriage is a skill that can be learned. Whether you’re dealing with frequent arguments or struggling with unaddressed issues, there are strategies to improve your relationship. Learning to navigate conflict effectively can transform your marriage from a battleground to a place of growth and intimacy.

We offer a free breakthrough call, where we dive deep into what’s not working in your marriage, what you dream and pray your marriage can be, and help you create a strategy to get you from where you are to where you want to go.

Helping our clients learn the secret to turning conflict into closeness is our specialty.

This could be the best 45 minutes you spend on your marriage.

Book that Breakthrough Call by going to www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

Talk Soon,

Rachel

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Fulfillment in Your Marriage: Overcoming Disconnection

Mechanics, police officers, doctors, truck drivers, lawyers, hairdressers, teachers, dentists, counselors, pastors, stay-at-home moms, nurses, entrepreneurs, small business owners, farmers, and coaches—all these professions share something in common: individuals can find fulfillment in their marriage and experience success in their careers while struggling with their home life.

The Impact of Home Life on Work

When the most intimate relationship becomes strained, it inevitably affects work. However, the effects manifest differently for men and women.

Struggles for Women

Women often grapple with balancing work and life. When their marriage feels disconnected, it seeps into their work life, leading to:

  • Distraction
  • Short temper
  • Disorganization
  • Frustration
  • Absent-mindedness

Because women tend to juggle multiple responsibilities, it becomes challenging to compartmentalize the pain they feel in their marriage. This struggle can lead to further issues in work, friendships, and even relationships with their children. Consequently, they may feel frustrated, hurt, and even contempt toward their husbands. In seeking attention, they might nag, scold, or beg, which often pushes their husbands away, exacerbating the disconnect.

Challenges for Men

Men typically find it easier to compartmentalize their lives. When home life is tense, they often immerse themselves in work, hobbies, or unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb their feelings. This emotional unavailability can deepen the divide in the marriage and leave their wives feeling unloved and neglected.

Breaking the Cycle of Disconnection

These vicious cycles can perpetuate dysfunction at home. Without new tools or strategies, couples can find themselves trapped in heartache and pain. The good news? We’ve helped individuals in various professions break these cycles and rediscover joy, closeness, and peace in their marriages.

A Path to Healing

It doesn’t have to take months or years to heal from past hurts. With the right strategy, you can change your mindset and establish new habits.

If any of this resonates with you, we encourage you to watch our free masterclass, “The 5-Step Strategy Christian Couples Use to Completely Turn Their Marriage Around Quickly, Recover Intimacy, and Fall Back in Love Again.” It could be the best 35 minutes you invest in your marriage.

Click Here to Watch the Masterclass

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Finding Hope in Your Christian Marriage: Avoiding Regrets

living & dying without regret. a person walking toward the light symbolizing hope and connection in a Christian marriage.

Not only was this the face of a dying man, but it was filled with so much regret. Wouldn’t it be terrible to get to the end of your life full of regrets? We all have mistakes, flaws, and disappointments to live with, but there is hope in your Christian marriage through the Good News of the gospel, which offers forgiveness, peace, and joy found in Jesus Christ.

The Importance of Relationships

Imagine reaching the end of your life without anyone to support you—no family, spouse, children, or friends visiting you on your deathbed. You’ve pushed everyone away, broken faith with your spouse, and become estranged from your children.

This was the reality for a gentleman I visited years ago as his hospice chaplain. My role was to offer spiritual support, counsel, and a listening ear, helping him process his feelings as he faced the end of his life.

A Moment of Reflection

One afternoon, I sat by his bedside, watching his frail chest rise and fall with labored breathing. No one else was home—no visitors. He turned to me and bitterly asked, “Why did I have to always be right?”

His face was downcast, filled with regrets from pushing away the people he cared about most—more than anyone else in the world, except for himself. Unfortunately, it was too late for him; attempts to reconnect with his family had long been closed off.

In that moment, God impressed upon my heart the urgency of this pain. Why wait until your deathbed to make things right in your relationships?

A New Mission

This key conversation altered the course of my career. After over 20 years of pastoring and ministering to couples, I felt God calling me to help Christian couples turn their marriages around—before reaching their deathbeds.

Almost six years ago, my wife, Rachel, and I began investing in ourselves to understand how to combine our mission with a business model. We invested tens of thousands of dollars to learn from the best business coaches and transformational coaches in the world.

Now, we can blend solid Biblical marital counsel with transformational coaching, helping couples achieve the healing, restoration, and hope they seek in their marriages.

The Cost of Being Right

Do you feel the need to always be right? To always have the last word? When you reach the end of your life, will it truly matter who “won” those arguments? Was it worth it to be right?

The gentleman I visited in hospice had a volunteer hold his hand as he breathed his last. She was essentially a stranger to him. The heartbreaking end of his life haunts me to this day.

Fuel for Change

This experience fuels Rachel and me to offer hope to struggling Christians desperate to repair their marriages. It doesn’t have to end in regret. It shouldn’t end this way.

As long as there is breath in your lungs, there is hope.

Take the First Step

If you’re seeking hope in your Christian marriage and are committed to making changes, book your free breakthrough call at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call.

This could be the 45 minutes that change the trajectory of your life.

Talk Soon,
Scott & Rachel

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Contractual Love is Not Biblical Love

Illustration comparing Biblical love and contractual love in marriage

Have you ever wondered why so many Christian marriages are struggling?

Worldly thinking has crept in.

The modern-day understanding of marital love is not Biblical love – it’s contractual love.

Essentially, “If you give to me, then I continue to give back,” or “If you will uphold your end of the deal, then I will uphold mine.” This is not Biblical, selfless, devoted, covenantal love.

But God is the God of covenantal love, and He has always loved His people this way. He made covenant promises with His people to protect them, deliver them, be present with them, and be faithful to them. Even when God’s people were not faithful, He was always faithful to His promises. And now, He loves us faithfully, and He pours out His love on us!

His love looks like 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

This is what biblical marriage looks like.

This is the very definition of love…

that so many included in their marriage ceremonies – but many often forget this definition or let disappointments, hurts, and resentments cloud their understanding of love.

For so many, when they forget or hurt builds up with resentment and unresolved issues, Christians resort back to the world’s standards – which is, “You complete me…and if you don’t anymore, see ya later!”

Maybe they don’t go to the extreme of quitting just yet – but they certainly do not desire to uphold their side of their vows. Nor do they remember the love of Christ poured out upon them….daily.

And let’s be clear: Christians vowed to God even before they made vows to their spouses!

And when there have been years of disconnect, hurts, and resentments, a spouse can easily get to where they are nearly “done” and maybe even have given up.

It should have never gotten to this place. But it did, slowly.

Gradually.

So, what’s the answer for honorable but hurting Christians?

The Gospel

The Good News that though we have miserably failed at our side of things, God, in His mercy, offers forgiveness and grace to the repentant sinner through His Son Jesus.

God’s picture for love infused freshly in our marriage.

God’s design for marriage and family.

Godly wisdom, practical advice, encouragement, the right tools, and clearing out worldly ideas.

This is what is needed….

Many look for help.

What do you usually find?

A “Christian” helper that does not touch the Word of God.

Worldly “contractual love” advice.

Manipulative, catchy solutions to win your spouse in X days.

And these don’t work.

Of course, they don’t.

Because MOST of the marriage helps out there are nothing more than tricks, manipulations, and ways to convince your spouse to change or stay.

But the biggest problem with all of these?

They are NOT LOVE. Not marital love purely designed by our Creator. They are self-focused, self-serving, and completely focused on just getting what you want right now.

I talk to people every week who have tried these type of programs and they didn’t work.

And for a Christian, they won’t. And shouldn’t. Because we are to love Covenantally not contractually.

God has spoken: “I have loved you with an everlasting love”

If you have been looking for a pathway to heal your marriage, you need more of God, His Word, Godly encouragement, and an encouraging environment that leads to Gospel breakthroughs.

That’s how we designed Turnaround Marriage.

If you’re ready to learn how to heal from the past hurts, resentments, and disappointments, and are eager to infuse your marriage with covenantal love, I want to encourage to book a breakthrough call with us.

If you’re looking for more therapies, psycho-babble, or a place to complain – this is not for you.

But if you’re ready to take action and learn how to institute covenantal love into your marriage now, book that call here: www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

Scott & Rachel