In the realm of marriage counseling, not all advice is created equal. As a marriage coach, I’ve encountered numerous couples who have received questionable guidance that often exacerbates their marital issues. Today, let’s explore why biblical guidance is crucial when navigating marriage struggles and how to find genuine Christian help.
The Perils of Misguided Marriage Advice
Recently, I spoke with a struggling couple who shared a startling piece of advice they’d received from a professional: “Write down everything you don’t like about your spouse. That’s your homework.” This approach, far from fostering healing, can deepen resentment and widen the gap between partners.
Common Pitfalls in Seeking Marriage Help
It never ceases to amaze me how horrific most of the “marriage helps” are. But over and over, the story is the same: a Christian struggling in their marriage. And what does everyone do? Go get counseling. But the thing they do not often think about is: what if this person gives unbiblical/unwise advice that makes things worse? What if they say they are a “Christian Counselor” but maybe are not going to point them to the Lord’s design for marriage?
Real-Life Examples of Harmful Counseling
In the last week alone, I have encountered three different situations where Christians were struggling and went to the “Free counseling” provided by their insurance only to find it actually made things worse. In one case, they kicked the man out of the couples counseling to continue to help the woman “find what she wanted.”
Caveat: of course, there are times when an unrepentant spouse is damaging the relationship beyond repair and there needs to be boundaries that may seem harsh put into place for healing. But we are talking about poor advice and unbiblical counsel being dished out to Christians under the guise of Christian help that does more harm than good.
I could go on for days ranting. But the bottom line is this: be very careful where you get your help.
Choosing the Right Help for Your Marriage
When seeking guidance for your marriage struggles, consider these crucial factors:
Make sure they will unashamedly point you to the Truth and to God’s design for help. Make sure you get testimonials from other Christians too. Make sure they truly understand your problem before they offer a solution. Make sure they equip you with the mindset and the tools for a healthy marriage relationship. Make sure there is a plan with an end game of healing and restoration in your marriage – not just someone who will keep you locked into years of “help” that keeps you stuck. Ultimately, make sure they will point you to the Lord Jesus and His heart and plan for your marriage. For THAT is what you need most of all.
Taking the Next Step Towards Healing
Perhaps you are like a lot of people. You never dreamed you would be here. Maybe you’re even scared. You don’t know what to do. You talked to your pastor. You asked friends for prayer. You’ve tried many things and don’t know what to do.
So, in a world of all kinds of “helps” but most pointing away from the “Truth” what should you do?
If you are struggling in your marriage, let’s hop on a complimentary call and bring clarity to the heart of the issues in your marriage. Let us help you craft a vision for what you hope things can be. Let us point you in the direction of a solution with lasting healing. If we are certain we can help you, we will show you what that would look like. If you’re better served elsewhere, we will still lovingly point you to other Godly help. On this 45-minute call, you will know that you are in good hands. And then you can take that decisive action toward healing once and for all.
You can book that call by going to www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/r marriage? Book your complimentary call today at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/