Author: Scott Lawry

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Why Investing in Your Christian Marriage Pays Dividends

Happy Christian couple celebrating their marriage investment. Mature man in suit and woman in dress embrace, showcasing the rewards of investing in a Christ-centered marriage.

In our Instagram and Facebook culture, many of us worry more about outward appearances than inner realities. While the average American invests over $22,000 on a picture-perfect wedding day, investing in your marriage after the big day is often overlooked. This neglect of ongoing relationship nurture can lead to challenges down the road, highlighting the importance of continual investment in your marital bond.

The True Value of Relationship Growth

Consider these common expenditures:

  • College education: over $35,000 per year
  • Private school: over $18,000 annually
  • Children’s sports: $1,150 per child, per year
  • Home renovations: $26,700 for a new kitchen
  • Personal appearance: Orthodontics, plastic surgery, supplements, etc.

While these investments have their place, they often overshadow the core of family life – a healthy marriage.

Reflecting on Our Priorities

The truth is, we invest in what we care about. If your marriage is struggling, it’s crucial to invest time, energy, and resources immediately to save it. Examine your calendar and checkbook – what do you spend time and money on?

We were once guilty of this too. It seemed easier to spend thousands on new furniture than to face our marital challenges. But when you realize how an investment in your marriage can pay dividends for life, everything can change.

Real Stories of Marital Transformation

1. Colin and Megan’s Story

Colin and Megan came to us when arguments threatened to end their marriage. After investing in marriage coaching, Megan shared:

“We took a leap and hired a marriage coach. It’s been worth every penny! Scott and Rachel helped us take our marriage to the next level and break old habits. We didn’t want a mediocre marriage…we wanted to thrive!”

Over a year later, they’re celebrating their 11th anniversary, thriving in every area of life.

2. Michelle’s Journey

Michelle approached us heartbroken, with her husband wanting to leave. Through our guidance, she healed her heart, rebuilt bridges, and transformed herself. Months later, her marriage was saved. Michelle reflected:

“I did the work on my own, and it would have been worth the investment just because of the person I became. But I also saved my marriage!”

3. Chris and Lori’s Transformation

Chris and Lori faced broken trust and constant arguments. Instead of costly divorce proceedings, they invested in their marriage. Within weeks, they achieved deep forgiveness, reconnected, and rebuilt trust. Lori shared:

“Turnaround Marriage with Scott and Rachel was used by God to restore and repair our marriage. We encourage you to take a leap of faith because we know Turnaround Marriage will help you too.”

The Long-Term Benefits of Relationship Investment

These stories represent hundreds of Christians who chose to invest in their marriages, reaping tenfold returns. By prioritizing your marriage, you’re not just saving on potential divorce costs – you’re investing in a lifetime of love, respect, and understanding.

Your Path to a Thriving Marriage

If you see the value in your marriage and family and are ready to invest in the best Christian help available, it’s time to take action.

Schedule your breakthrough session today and embark on the road to a thriving, God-honoring marriage where you both feel loved, respected, understood, and cherished.

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Christian Marriage Renewal: Overcoming Negativity

Hateful comments amid speech bubbles, challenging Christian marriage transformation efforts online

Have you noticed how strangers on the internet often express hatred and say degrading things to people they’ve never met? At Turnaround Marriage, we’ve encountered all sorts of comments – from accusations that “Christianity is spousal abuse” to claims that “Marriage is the problem” and even personal attacks calling us “intellectually stunted.”

Years ago, these comments used to discourage and even derail us. But now they fuel our mission for Christian marriage renewal!

The Truth Behind the Negativity

The TRUTH is that so many people are hurting. And hurt people, hurt people. Certainly, many do hate God and His ways. Anger and hate fill many hearts. Many suffer in their marriages and have begun to believe nothing could ever change – that a painful, disconnected marriage is their destiny.

Often, it is NOT THEIR FAULT.

They have been trying to do marriage in their own way: the only way they knew how. Or in the way they were taught. Or in the way the culture has shown them. Only to learn over time that it was simply not working.

The Journey to Christian Marriage Transformation

That’s why people come to us. They have been working harder and harder doing what does not work. Maybe they have even “tried marriage help,” but their marriage did not change much.

Then, they come to us realizing that things need to truly change, that they need a better way of doing family, marriage…and even life.

And when they begin to do the necessary work…and learning how to align with God’s design for their lives and marriages – hope begins to flood in. Then, hope gives way to excitement. Then joy and fun!

Real Stories of Transformation

As one client just told us, “If you would have told me that things could change so quickly, I would not have believed you!”

We’ve worked with business owners, lawyers, truck drivers, teachers, doctors, executives, business professionals, construction workers, nurses, engineers, therapists, stay at home moms, and more. And they are usually amazed at how much they can heal, change, and grow in a short season.

God’s Role in Marriage Transformation

We are massively confident in our approach. Not just because we believe Turnaround Marriage is the best way to heal a marriage – but because we know the One who DOES the healing.

God has in His heart so much healing for His people! He is able to heal – but so often people choose the dysfunction instead of His plan (without seeing it). They believe that which is not true (Satan’s lies). And until someone helps to point those things out and shift their perspective, not much will change.

Our Unique Approach to Christian Marriage Transformation

Our strategy to help heal and strengthen the individual at the same time as the marriage is the best strategy out there, because if you are one flesh, you MUST work on both simultaneously.

It is amazing…and we have come to expect the miraculous. Because miracles are the norm!

Your Path to Marriage Transformation

So what about you!? Maybe things have been bad for a long time. Maybe you think you are just destined to be stuck. Maybe it feels like God won’t even answer your prayers.

We want to encourage you to begin the path of the impossible today:

  1. Check out our free masterclass, “The 5 Simple Shifts Christians Make to Turn their Marriage Around Quickly” at www.turnaroundmarriage.live
  2. Book a breakthrough call with us at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

After you have seen the masterclass and it resonates with you, let’s hop on a call and have a powerful conversation about where you have been stuck. Let’s talk about what’s been so hard. But then we want to talk about the path of healing with you and the strategy and support you will need to get there.

Be prepared to take action on that call – be prepared to take the initiative to move forward starting that plan right away.

These steps could change your life like it has for hundreds of Christians.

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The Biblical Secret to Rekindle Marital Intimacy

the biblical secret to rekindle marital intimacy

Are you searching for the biblical secret to rekindle marital intimacy? Many Christian couples find themselves drifting apart, wondering what happened to the soulmate they once adored. If you’re feeling emotionally distant or struggling to connect physically and spiritually, you’re not alone. The good news is that there’s a proven, biblical approach to restoring intimacy in your marriage.

Uncovering the Biblical Secret to Marital Intimacy

The real issue many couples face isn’t just disconnection – it’s the lack of a proven, biblical system for restoring intimacy. Our Turnaround Marriage Program has helped hundreds of Christian couples transform their relationships using a four-step framework rooted in biblical principles.

The 4-Step Biblical Approach to Rekindling Intimacy

1. Healing Past Hurts

The first step involves using forgiveness and exercises to let go of bitterness and resentment. This process allows couples to move beyond past wounds and create a fresh foundation for their relationship.

2. Rebuilding Trust

Next, we focus on rebuilding trust through effective communication exercises. These exercises come from a place of appreciation and understanding your differences as husband and wife. By learning to communicate effectively, couples can bridge the gaps that have formed in their relationship.

3. Resolving Conflicts

We then apply conflict resolution principles that really work. These techniques ensure that both partners can finally feel heard and understood without things escalating and without one or both shutting down. This step is crucial in creating a safe space for open and honest communication.

4. Meeting Emotional Needs

Finally, we guide couples in meeting each other’s core emotional needs consistently. This step also involves reconnecting deeply with God to step into your identity in Christ. By aligning your marriage with God’s design, you can experience a level of intimacy and connection you may have thought was lost forever.

Applying the Biblical Secret in Your Marriage

This biblical framework for rekindling marital intimacy has worked for countless couples, taking them from frustrated and fighting to close and connected in a matter of weeks. Let’s explore how you can apply this biblical secret to your own marriage.

We’ve seen remarkable transformations in couples like John and Janice, Roberto and Judith, Bert and Miriam, and Jeremy and Tracie, to name just a few in the last few weeks. These couples have experienced the joy of a rekindled, passionate, God-centered marriage.

Your Path to Marital Renewal

Isn’t it time you experienced the joyful, passionate, God-centered marriage you’ve been praying for? We offer a free breakthrough call where we can uncover the roots of what’s not working in your marriage and show you how to apply these strategies starting today.

Don’t delay – we have very few slots remaining this week. This could be the turning point your marriage needs.
Book your free breakthrough call now: Schedule Your Breakthrough Session

Remember, the proof is in the pudding. This approach has worked for countless couples, and it can work for you too. Take the first step towards rekindling your marital intimacy today.

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Biblical Guidance for Marriage Struggles: A Path to Healing

In the realm of marriage counseling, not all advice is created equal. As a marriage coach, I’ve encountered numerous couples who have received questionable guidance that often exacerbates their marital issues. Today, let’s explore why biblical guidance is crucial when navigating marriage struggles and how to find genuine Christian help.

seeking biblical guidance for marriage struggles

The Perils of Misguided Marriage Advice

Recently, I spoke with a struggling couple who shared a startling piece of advice they’d received from a professional: “Write down everything you don’t like about your spouse. That’s your homework.” This approach, far from fostering healing, can deepen resentment and widen the gap between partners.

Common Pitfalls in Seeking Marriage Help

It never ceases to amaze me how horrific most of the “marriage helps” are. But over and over, the story is the same: a Christian struggling in their marriage. And what does everyone do? Go get counseling. But the thing they do not often think about is: what if this person gives unbiblical/unwise advice that makes things worse? What if they say they are a “Christian Counselor” but maybe are not going to point them to the Lord’s design for marriage?

Real-Life Examples of Harmful Counseling

In the last week alone, I have encountered three different situations where Christians were struggling and went to the “Free counseling” provided by their insurance only to find it actually made things worse. In one case, they kicked the man out of the couples counseling to continue to help the woman “find what she wanted.”

Caveat: of course, there are times when an unrepentant spouse is damaging the relationship beyond repair and there needs to be boundaries that may seem harsh put into place for healing. But we are talking about poor advice and unbiblical counsel being dished out to Christians under the guise of Christian help that does more harm than good.

I could go on for days ranting. But the bottom line is this: be very careful where you get your help.

Choosing the Right Help for Your Marriage

When seeking guidance for your marriage struggles, consider these crucial factors:

Make sure they will unashamedly point you to the Truth and to God’s design for help. Make sure you get testimonials from other Christians too. Make sure they truly understand your problem before they offer a solution. Make sure they equip you with the mindset and the tools for a healthy marriage relationship. Make sure there is a plan with an end game of healing and restoration in your marriage – not just someone who will keep you locked into years of “help” that keeps you stuck. Ultimately, make sure they will point you to the Lord Jesus and His heart and plan for your marriage. For THAT is what you need most of all.

Taking the Next Step Towards Healing

Perhaps you are like a lot of people. You never dreamed you would be here. Maybe you’re even scared. You don’t know what to do. You talked to your pastor. You asked friends for prayer. You’ve tried many things and don’t know what to do.

So, in a world of all kinds of “helps” but most pointing away from the “Truth” what should you do?

If you are struggling in your marriage, let’s hop on a complimentary call and bring clarity to the heart of the issues in your marriage. Let us help you craft a vision for what you hope things can be. Let us point you in the direction of a solution with lasting healing. If we are certain we can help you, we will show you what that would look like. If you’re better served elsewhere, we will still lovingly point you to other Godly help. On this 45-minute call, you will know that you are in good hands. And then you can take that decisive action toward healing once and for all.

You can book that call by going to www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/r marriage? Book your complimentary call today at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

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Fulfillment in Your Marriage: Overcoming Disconnection

Mechanics, police officers, doctors, truck drivers, lawyers, hairdressers, teachers, dentists, counselors, pastors, stay-at-home moms, nurses, entrepreneurs, small business owners, farmers, and coaches—all these professions share something in common: individuals can find fulfillment in their marriage and experience success in their careers while struggling with their home life.

The Impact of Home Life on Work

When the most intimate relationship becomes strained, it inevitably affects work. However, the effects manifest differently for men and women.

Struggles for Women

Women often grapple with balancing work and life. When their marriage feels disconnected, it seeps into their work life, leading to:

  • Distraction
  • Short temper
  • Disorganization
  • Frustration
  • Absent-mindedness

Because women tend to juggle multiple responsibilities, it becomes challenging to compartmentalize the pain they feel in their marriage. This struggle can lead to further issues in work, friendships, and even relationships with their children. Consequently, they may feel frustrated, hurt, and even contempt toward their husbands. In seeking attention, they might nag, scold, or beg, which often pushes their husbands away, exacerbating the disconnect.

Challenges for Men

Men typically find it easier to compartmentalize their lives. When home life is tense, they often immerse themselves in work, hobbies, or unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb their feelings. This emotional unavailability can deepen the divide in the marriage and leave their wives feeling unloved and neglected.

Breaking the Cycle of Disconnection

These vicious cycles can perpetuate dysfunction at home. Without new tools or strategies, couples can find themselves trapped in heartache and pain. The good news? We’ve helped individuals in various professions break these cycles and rediscover joy, closeness, and peace in their marriages.

A Path to Healing

It doesn’t have to take months or years to heal from past hurts. With the right strategy, you can change your mindset and establish new habits.

If any of this resonates with you, we encourage you to watch our free masterclass, “The 5-Step Strategy Christian Couples Use to Completely Turn Their Marriage Around Quickly, Recover Intimacy, and Fall Back in Love Again.” It could be the best 35 minutes you invest in your marriage.

Click Here to Watch the Masterclass

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Christian Marriage Transformation

Are you seeking a powerful Christian marriage transformation? Turnaround Marriage offers a revolutionary approach to marriage coaching that’s changing lives in weeks, not months or years. Let’s explore how this program can help you experience rapid healing and renewed connection in your relationship.

Christian couple experiencing marriage transformation through faith-based coaching

What If There Was a Better Way?

Imagine a world without endless rehashing of the past. A world where your marriage heals in weeks, not years. No need for a referee between you and your spouse. Healing happens rapidly, with God as your partner. Feel encouraged and equipped, not beaten down. Have the tools for a healthy relationship at your fingertips. See a clear path for Christian-based, transformational growth. Let stress, depression, and overwhelm fade away. This better way exists. It’s called Turnaround Marriage.

Introducing Turnaround Marriage

Turnaround Marriage is a powerful, Christian, marriage coaching program designed to profoundly turn things around in your marriage – beginning with the individual and letting that spill over into the marriage.

Turnaround Marriage was borne out of seeing how often the system of traditional help was ineffective and broken… from the inside out.

Why Traditional Methods Often Fall Short

After working with families for over 25 years, I began to see how the limited nature of church support was insufficient. It felt impossible to fill in the gaps of the many missing components that most people were lacking in order to have healthy marriages. There were too many things to cover and often I did not know (back then) how to help change very much. And as a pastor, I felt very limited with what I could do.

The truth is, I was OVERWHELMED with the sheer number needing help.

As most pastors do, I began to refer people to outside help, thinking that the professionals could offer what I couldn’t: a strategy that could really help couples quickly. Unfortunately, the truth was that most times it did very little to improve things for those couples.

Often it made it worse.

A God-Inspired Solution

We began to see, years ago, that there needed to be a better way. We felt God was calling us to design something that was a much better way. Something to heal and equip the hurting individual and also provide a godly path toward healing the marriage.

Almost 6 years in, we have helped hundreds of people by equipping them and guiding them towards God’s design for marriage.

And remember – God heals. If there has not been healing – it’s not His fault. It is almost always, we have chosen to believe the Enemy’s lies instead of the Truth. And we often need someone else to help us towards discovering those “footholds.”

That’s a lot of what we do.

The Power of Rapid Transformation

Some say it’s impossible to radically change personal and marriage dynamics in a short time. But hundreds of our clients would disagree.

“I can’t say enough because we have learned so much! We aren’t afraid to talk openly and honestly about how we feel. We don’t poke the bear anymore. Everything feels like we are on a better course because of this program. This has helped us be better people and we are relying on God, which is a big win.” – B & G, recent program participants

Ready for True Healing?

If you’re sick and tired of your current dynamics, it’s time for a change. Even if you’ve tried many things that haven’t worked, even if you feel hopeless – there’s still hope for your marriage.

Start your journey to a transformed marriage today. Visit www.turnaroundmarriage.live and watch our masterclass: “The 5 Simple Shifts Christian Couples Make to Completely Turn Their Marriage Around Quickly, Recover Connection, and Fall Back in Love Again (Without Spending Years In Therapy Or Counseling)“. Begin implementing these shifts in your relationship immediately to experience rapid healing and growth, a stronger connection with your spouse, a deeper reliance on God, and practical tools for lasting change.

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Finding Hope in Your Christian Marriage: Avoiding Regrets

living & dying without regret. a person walking toward the light symbolizing hope and connection in a Christian marriage.

Not only was this the face of a dying man, but it was filled with so much regret. Wouldn’t it be terrible to get to the end of your life full of regrets? We all have mistakes, flaws, and disappointments to live with, but there is hope in your Christian marriage through the Good News of the gospel, which offers forgiveness, peace, and joy found in Jesus Christ.

The Importance of Relationships

Imagine reaching the end of your life without anyone to support you—no family, spouse, children, or friends visiting you on your deathbed. You’ve pushed everyone away, broken faith with your spouse, and become estranged from your children.

This was the reality for a gentleman I visited years ago as his hospice chaplain. My role was to offer spiritual support, counsel, and a listening ear, helping him process his feelings as he faced the end of his life.

A Moment of Reflection

One afternoon, I sat by his bedside, watching his frail chest rise and fall with labored breathing. No one else was home—no visitors. He turned to me and bitterly asked, “Why did I have to always be right?”

His face was downcast, filled with regrets from pushing away the people he cared about most—more than anyone else in the world, except for himself. Unfortunately, it was too late for him; attempts to reconnect with his family had long been closed off.

In that moment, God impressed upon my heart the urgency of this pain. Why wait until your deathbed to make things right in your relationships?

A New Mission

This key conversation altered the course of my career. After over 20 years of pastoring and ministering to couples, I felt God calling me to help Christian couples turn their marriages around—before reaching their deathbeds.

Almost six years ago, my wife, Rachel, and I began investing in ourselves to understand how to combine our mission with a business model. We invested tens of thousands of dollars to learn from the best business coaches and transformational coaches in the world.

Now, we can blend solid Biblical marital counsel with transformational coaching, helping couples achieve the healing, restoration, and hope they seek in their marriages.

The Cost of Being Right

Do you feel the need to always be right? To always have the last word? When you reach the end of your life, will it truly matter who “won” those arguments? Was it worth it to be right?

The gentleman I visited in hospice had a volunteer hold his hand as he breathed his last. She was essentially a stranger to him. The heartbreaking end of his life haunts me to this day.

Fuel for Change

This experience fuels Rachel and me to offer hope to struggling Christians desperate to repair their marriages. It doesn’t have to end in regret. It shouldn’t end this way.

As long as there is breath in your lungs, there is hope.

Take the First Step

If you’re seeking hope in your Christian marriage and are committed to making changes, book your free breakthrough call at www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call.

This could be the 45 minutes that change the trajectory of your life.

Talk Soon,
Scott & Rachel

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Loneliness in Marriage: Bridging the Gap to Connection

A person sitting alone, symbolizing loneliness.---By addressing the issue of loneliness in marriage, we can begin to heal and reconnect with our partners. Remember, there is hope and help available for you.

One of the most heartbreaking things we hear on calls with hurting people every single day is the feeling of loneliness in their marriage. It’s the last thing you would expect when you marry someone you love deeply.

We’ve all experienced loneliness in our teenage years or early adulthood—when we were single, looking for love, or heartbroken after a breakup. But to feel alone with someone living in your home? To feel isolated from the one you love more than anyone else on this earth?

The Signs of Disconnection

You come home from work, longing to connect with your spouse, only to find a stiff, tense atmosphere. Your spouse barely acknowledges you, and instead of a warm embrace, you find the weight of silence filling the space between you.

As you ride in the car together, you experience awkward silence and a growing distance between you.

As you sit down for a meal, you both turn to your cell phones for companionship because the connection between you feels so strained.

This common thread runs through marriages marked by tension, arguments, or disconnection. It can feel even more isolating when there’s an avoidance of conflict, allowing hurts and miscommunications to pile up under the proverbial rug.

The Slow Fade of Loneliness

Here’s the thing: loneliness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow fade over time, a pattern of turning away from each other when opportunities to connect arise. It grows deeper when hurts take root, bitterness sets in, and stubbornness prevails—on one or both sides.

This disconnection can be one of the most agonizing parts of a struggling marriage. It can leave you feeling like a fraud, particularly when, as a believer in Jesus, you know better.

Taking Steps Toward Connection

Just as it happens in the little things of turning away from each other, you can begin to turn toward each other in the little things too. A kind word. An expression of gratitude. Trading criticism for curiosity. You can choose to be open and vulnerable, even if your honesty meets rebuff.

For most people stuck in these patterns for years or decades, many thoughts race through your mind: ‘They don’t deserve it,’ ‘I’m always the first to apologize,’ and ‘Too much trust has been broken,’ which makes you refuse to take the first step.

Overcoming Mental Barriers

For many individuals stuck in these patterns for years or even decades, mental barriers can feel overwhelming. You might find thoughts racing through your mind: ‘They don’t deserve it,’ ‘I’m always the first to apologize,’ or ‘Too much trust has been broken.

This is where the power of transformational coaching comes in. By becoming aware of the lies you’ve believed and the negative tapes you’ve been replaying, you can learn to renew your mind. As Scripture advises, and recalibrate your heart to let go of bitterness, anger, rage, and apathy.

Finding Hope and Help

If you are lonely in your marriage, you can check out our free masterclass, The 5-Step Strategy Christian Couples Use to Completely Turn Their Marriage Around Quickly, Recover Intimacy, and Fall Back in Love Again. It’s helped thousands of couples get clarity and help on bringing back closeness and connection.

There is hope and help available for you. Check it out here.

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Toxic Male Weakness

Christian man embracing his role as a strong, masculine, godly leader to overcome toxic male weakness.

Our culture is plagued by an epidemic of toxic male weakness, particularly within the Church where niceness has become the highest aim

Unfortunately, many Christian men have abandoned their God-given leadership mantle, disengaging from the battle and cowering in foxholes instead of fighting the raging war around them.

But it’s not all your fault. In fact, there is an all-out attack on manhood. On your manhood.

Three Enemies Facing Christian Men

According to the Bible, there are 3 enemies that we face:

#1 – The World (James 4:4)

Our culture, including Hollywood, TV, and modern thinking, opposes your inherent strength, courage, and ferocity. As a result, patriarchy is now vilified as the greatest threat to women and society.

#2 – The Flesh (Galatians 5:17)

The Flesh (Galatians 5:17): When our flesh leads, it renders us powerless. Vices like porn, drugs, and selfishness can devastate us and our families, weakening our ability to fulfill our calling.

#3 – The Devil (1 Peter 5:8)

Of Course, you have the Father of Lies, he attacks you relentlessly, aiming to make you feel small and powerless. He deceives you about your inability to change and the toxicity of your God-given masculinity.

The Impact of Weak Masculinity on Christian Marriages

If you combine all these attacks in the modern world with the internet, negative messages everywhere, and gender confusion leading the conversations, then you get the world we live in, with powerless, weak men all around.

Recently, I spoke with a pastor who expressed frustration at having to act nice instead of embodying a strong warrior. This sentiment reflects the feminization of the American Church.

Please hear me, there is nothing wrong with the feminine. We need it – we need women! The world and our families need their eye for beauty, their tenderness, their nurture, their ability to express how they feel, their ability to multi-task, and all the beauty that God has instilled as the feminine side of women.

But we also need more godly men to ferociously defend the flock who are warriors that will not cower and will fight the good fight.

We need men to step up to lead, protect, provide, and be emotionally and spiritually present in their homes, their churches, and their communities.

It’s crucial to note that I’m not referring to the biggest cowards who abuse those they should protect. The ones that are defensive, turn their problems around on their wives, use their strength to keep their wives stuck in fear and hurt them physically, emotionally, or mentally. Such behavior is the antithesis of true masculinity and requires a serious “come to Jesus” moment. If that is you – you and I need to have a different conversation, but please know that you can be set free from that true toxic masculinity and step into the honorable version of yourself that God is calling you to be.

Stepping Into Biblical Masculinity

I Talk to Men All the Time Who Resonate With The Message of Toxic WEAK Masculinity

Men who WANT to be so much more. Who desire to be strong and to lead their homes. Who recognize that they have stepped out of the way and let their wives dominate them because of feeling insecure or not exactly knowing how to lead. This causes their wives to be frustrated with having to be their husband’s moms and deep resentment seeps into a wife’s heart when she feels she has to drag her husband to church, beg him to lead their children, or be emotionally available to her. And the men know that they are acting like cowardly weaklings.

Men Were Made For So Much More

Christian men know it inherently – that they are responsible to lead. That they are to be strong for everyone in their lives. That they need more than getting angry at a football game as a conduit for their strength. That they were made to defend, protect, and lead their families.

But They Recognize They Are Stuck

I have these conversations with men who see it clearly. Yet they stay in their powerlessness.

And this is where I often get a little angry.

Because so many refuse to step up. They refuse to fight for their failing marriage. They give up before they start. They resign themselves to lives of regret, emptiness, cowardice, and a feminized version of themselves.

When I offer my hand to help them step into the man God created them to be and to fight for their marriage honorably, they say things like, “Well, I need to check with my wife.”

“I am not sure…I’m nervous that I might push her away.”

“I want to ensure she is ok with me becoming the man I need to be.”

“I just don’t see how things could be different.”

ALL of these comments break my heart – and it mostly makes me angry at their enemies. But I also can get really frustrated with the men who do not take action. The ones who give up.

Taking Action: Reclaiming Your God-Given Role

When you get another man in your corner with biblical truth, accountability, and a strategy, everything changes. They come alive to who they are and who they were meant to be, because they begin to model their lives after Jesus – the Rugged Carpenter, the Temple-Whipper, the White-Stallion-Riding Warrior with Bright Ferocious Eyes.

They Uncross Their Legs And Step Into Who They Are: Men

Yes, I just said that. They become the men that GOD ALREADY SAYS THEY ARE!

They show up differently. Radically different. Powerful. Connected with their God and their purpose to fight for their families.

And we love these men. Honor them. Remind them of who they are. And then they step into warriors.

Dentist Warriors.

Repairmen Warriors.

Teacher Warriors.

Policeman Warriors.

Military Warriors.

Businessman Warriors.

Retired Grandfather Warriors.

I WILL GET HATE on this article.

People will tell me all about toxic masculinity. They will talk about my ancient patriarchal view.

I DON’T CARE!

Because there are men out there that will hear this and will stand up. Who are ready to be men as they were created to be.

Our culture, our communities, our families, our wives and children will be better off if they do.

If this resonates with you, watch the video here that changed everything for Charlie, Bert, Colin, Tim, David, Jim, Michael, Mark, Rocky, Jeff, Billy, Earl, Aaron, Travis, James, Bill, John, Nicholas, Joseph, and a hundred other men who said enough is enough. It’s time to man up and learn how to do marriage God’s way and be the man God has called you to be.

You can find that video here: http://www.turnaroundmarriage.live

It’s time to stop believing the lies that this is just how you are and there’s nothing you can do.

Because now is the time for action.

Talk Soon,

Scott

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Contractual Love is Not Biblical Love

Illustration comparing Biblical love and contractual love in marriage

Have you ever wondered why so many Christian marriages are struggling?

Worldly thinking has crept in.

The modern-day understanding of marital love is not Biblical love – it’s contractual love.

Essentially, “If you give to me, then I continue to give back,” or “If you will uphold your end of the deal, then I will uphold mine.” This is not Biblical, selfless, devoted, covenantal love.

But God is the God of covenantal love, and He has always loved His people this way. He made covenant promises with His people to protect them, deliver them, be present with them, and be faithful to them. Even when God’s people were not faithful, He was always faithful to His promises. And now, He loves us faithfully, and He pours out His love on us!

His love looks like 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

This is what biblical marriage looks like.

This is the very definition of love…

that so many included in their marriage ceremonies – but many often forget this definition or let disappointments, hurts, and resentments cloud their understanding of love.

For so many, when they forget or hurt builds up with resentment and unresolved issues, Christians resort back to the world’s standards – which is, “You complete me…and if you don’t anymore, see ya later!”

Maybe they don’t go to the extreme of quitting just yet – but they certainly do not desire to uphold their side of their vows. Nor do they remember the love of Christ poured out upon them….daily.

And let’s be clear: Christians vowed to God even before they made vows to their spouses!

And when there have been years of disconnect, hurts, and resentments, a spouse can easily get to where they are nearly “done” and maybe even have given up.

It should have never gotten to this place. But it did, slowly.

Gradually.

So, what’s the answer for honorable but hurting Christians?

The Gospel

The Good News that though we have miserably failed at our side of things, God, in His mercy, offers forgiveness and grace to the repentant sinner through His Son Jesus.

God’s picture for love infused freshly in our marriage.

God’s design for marriage and family.

Godly wisdom, practical advice, encouragement, the right tools, and clearing out worldly ideas.

This is what is needed….

Many look for help.

What do you usually find?

A “Christian” helper that does not touch the Word of God.

Worldly “contractual love” advice.

Manipulative, catchy solutions to win your spouse in X days.

And these don’t work.

Of course, they don’t.

Because MOST of the marriage helps out there are nothing more than tricks, manipulations, and ways to convince your spouse to change or stay.

But the biggest problem with all of these?

They are NOT LOVE. Not marital love purely designed by our Creator. They are self-focused, self-serving, and completely focused on just getting what you want right now.

I talk to people every week who have tried these type of programs and they didn’t work.

And for a Christian, they won’t. And shouldn’t. Because we are to love Covenantally not contractually.

God has spoken: “I have loved you with an everlasting love”

If you have been looking for a pathway to heal your marriage, you need more of God, His Word, Godly encouragement, and an encouraging environment that leads to Gospel breakthroughs.

That’s how we designed Turnaround Marriage.

If you’re ready to learn how to heal from the past hurts, resentments, and disappointments, and are eager to infuse your marriage with covenantal love, I want to encourage to book a breakthrough call with us.

If you’re looking for more therapies, psycho-babble, or a place to complain – this is not for you.

But if you’re ready to take action and learn how to institute covenantal love into your marriage now, book that call here: www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

Scott & Rachel