The modern-day understanding of marital love is not Biblical love – it’s contractual love.

Essentially, “If you give to me, then I continue to give back,” or “If you will uphold your end of the deal, then I will uphold mine.” This is not Biblical, selfless, devoted, covenantal love.

But God is the God of covenantal love, and He has always loved His people this way. He made covenant promises with His people to protect them, deliver them, be present with them, and be faithful to them. Even when God’s people were not faithful, He was always faithful to His promises. And now, He loves us faithfully, and He pours out His love on us!

His love looks like 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

This is what biblical marriage looks like.

This is the very definition of love…

that so many included in their marriage ceremonies – but many often forget this definition or let disappointments, hurts, and resentments cloud their understanding of love.

For so many, when they forget or hurt builds up with resentment and unresolved issues, Christians resort back to the world’s standards – which is, “You complete me…and if you don’t anymore, see ya later!”

Maybe they don’t go to the extreme of quitting just yet – but they certainly do not desire to uphold their side of their vows. Nor do they remember the love of Christ poured out upon them….daily.

And let’s be clear: Christians vowed to God even before they made vows to their spouses!

And when there have been years of disconnect, hurts, and resentments, a spouse can easily get to where they are nearly “done” and maybe even have given up.

It should have never gotten to this place. But it did, slowly.

Gradually.

So, what’s the answer for honorable but hurting Christians?

The Gospel

The Good News that though we have miserably failed at our side of things, God, in His mercy, offers forgiveness and grace to the repentant sinner through His Son Jesus.

God’s picture for love infused freshly in our marriage.

God’s design for marriage and family.

Godly wisdom, practical advice, encouragement, the right tools, and clearing out worldly ideas.

This is what is needed….

Many look for help.

What do you usually find?

A “Christian” helper that does not touch the Word of God.

Worldly “contractual love” advice.

Manipulative, catchy solutions to win your spouse in X days.

And these don’t work.

Of course, they don’t.

Because MOST of the marriage helps out there are nothing more than tricks, manipulations, and ways to convince your spouse to change or stay.

But the biggest problem with all of these?

They are NOT LOVE. Not marital love purely designed by our Creator. They are self-focused, self-serving, and completely focused on just getting what you want right now.

I talk to people every week who have tried these type of programs and they didn’t work.

And for a Christian, they won’t. And shouldn’t. Because we are to love Covenantally not contractually.

God has spoken: “I have loved you with an everlasting love”

If you have been looking for a pathway to heal your marriage, you need more of God, His Word, Godly encouragement, and an encouraging environment that leads to Gospel breakthroughs.

That’s how we designed Turnaround Marriage.

If you’re ready to learn how to heal from the past hurts, resentments, and disappointments, and are eager to infuse your marriage with covenantal love, I want to encourage to book a breakthrough call with us.

If you’re looking for more therapies, psycho-babble, or a place to complain – this is not for you.

But if you’re ready to take action and learn how to institute covenantal love into your marriage now, book that call here: www.turnaroundmarriage.com/call/

Scott & Rachel